I spy with my little eye...

From my spot on the couch, I can glance around the room and find five vignettes that make me want to inflict harm on the man that I live with. I love him, so not anything that would leave a mark-just a swift kick to the shin or a nipple twister would suffice.

Exhibit A - Those are socks. On the coffee table. The man won't put his book on the top of the toilet tank because he is afraid of poo germs, but it's okay to put your SOCKS on the coffee table.
Exhibit B: Count 'em. One, two, three pairs of shoes under the coffee table. When I try to put them away he tells me he needs to wear them tomorrow. Really? Three pairs?


Exhibit C - Unworn Adidas sandals. Why is that an irritant, one asks. Well, that's the third pair I've bought. The third pair that aren't right. The nubbies on the inner soles pinch his feet. Three pairs, three styles of nubbies, three failures.


Exhibit D - That's a strange place for a hat rack. That's because it's not a hat rack. It's a sconce light. Just since we've been chatting a third one has made it's way to the pile.

Exhibit E(final exhibit)- Well, that's just a harmless guitar. He doesn't play guitar. He bought strings for his new musical instrument and set it in the corner. That was six days ago. I have no idea where it came from.


Oh Al, I love you.