Bitch Test

On occasion, my family, co-workers and friends will inform me that something I have said or done is not polite, overly sarcastic, snarky or "bitchy".

Most of the time, I don't believe them. For example, my sister and I were at a garage sale and the home owner asked if I needed any "Brand New Size B Bras." I responded " No, we are a large breasted family."

I thought this was hilarious, my sister says it was bitchy - that I was implying that home owner has small boobs. Not true, I was simply informing her that those "Brand New Size B Bras" wouldn't work on my frame.

So, today I have a bitch test for you and I would appreciate your honest opinion.

Picture this - I arrive at the car wash at 5:20.

Me: Hello, I would like a full service wash with an interior detail.
Car Wash Gentleman: I don't have time for that.
Me: Why not?
Car Wash Gentleman: We close at 5:30
Me: Well, how long does it take?
Car Wash Gentleman: About 15 minutes
Me: You are unwilling to stay 5 minutes late for a paying customer?
Car Wash Gentleman: We close at 5:30
Me: Fine, do what you can I guess

Al Borlan (aka: my live in lova) says I'm an asshole. That in no way should I expect him to stay 5 minutes late and I am inconsiderate for asking. Don't I know that you can't show up somewhere 10 minutes before they close.....and so on.

Here's my case:
1. I didn't show up at 5:29, I came at 5:20 - a full 10 minutes before they close.
2. If you close at 5:30, you don't turn away a customer at 5:20!
3. I wasn't asking for an hour long massage - I merely wanted a 15 minute interior detail.
4. If my boss approaches me at 4:50 for assitance, I don't tell him "Sorry-I'm off in 10 minutes"

What do think about the Car Wash Case?

You Are Going to Have to Secede From the St. Louis MSA

I love watching shows about drugs - something about people's lives falling apart scratches an itch for me. Just so you don't think I'm totally sadistic, I also like it when they get sober- ok, so there.

Naturally, I TiVo -ed the Discovery Channel's 3 part series "Meth Nation" "Heroin Nation" and "Cocaine Nation" because there are sure to be some good drug addicts in that mix.

Here I sit, watching a dramatization of a paranoia induced hallucination, when what do I see on the back of the Sherrif's jacket: Jefferson, County Missouri.

Damn it! The rest of the show is focused on "the meth capital of the world"and what the police in Jefferson County, MO are up against. Arrests are made, labs are busted and many toothless men in Nascar T-shirts are shown in Jefferson County, MO.

Listen lovely neighbor to the south, you have got to get your act together.

Hear me out, I love going to the river, I love shopping at the Bluffs and my own blood sister and mother live within your borders, but this is embarassing! It is as if our dirty underwear have been featured on National television.

The population north of 55 and 270 need you to shape up or ship out. St. Louis and Kansas City are the only two things holding this lame state together-can you start pulling your own weight, please!?

The Weedy Line Up

A little help?

I'm not very good at things that us lady folk are supposed to be good at. Cooking, sewing, cleaning...things of this nature. Gardening also falls into this hellish, domestic mash up as well. Alas, I own a home so I figure I should plant some shit out front. It's a beautiful day in the Lou so I got down in the itchy grass to weed the flower beds. Problem is - I don't know what the eff is a weed and what's a thing I'm supposed to keep.


I was hoping (bats eyelashes) that you could help me identify these weedy suspects. Keep or pull?